opened the cages of the beasts yesterday. Can
a wild beast do something meaningful with freedom? No. Nothing. Except to
kill again and again. That is what
they did, tearing our flesh apart, drinking our blood and claiming that their
despair can only be expressed this way. Personally,
I know a few good places they could go in case they feel the need to blow
themselves up out of frustration. But
I forgot: it wouldn't work if the blood they suck isn't Jewish. The satisfaction wouldn't be the same and the world would even voice some
plunged into despair every Jew in the world. I was at home when Rich called.
sounded frantic and I couldn't understand what he was saying. Then, I heard the word "Pigu-a".
Where, when, how many. That is all that matters, nothing else; no
speeches are needed when you hear the dreadful word. Rich didn't know yet the details.
started to think about our friend Isabelle, who is visiting, who left 15 minutes
before towards that direction. I
couldn't reach her and I got very worried. Our niece, Elana, who lives a block from the blast called me to let me
know she was okay. Her voice was
trembling and I could feel she was holding back her tears. The thought Jews were dying at this precise moment made me dizzy and
nauseous. I hung up. I couldn't
find the strength to say a hearty B"H'', that my loved ones are safe.
What about my other loved ones, the ones I would never have a chance to
meet. I knew that somewhere,
somebody else was receiving a phone call and that their world would collapse
called some friends that I know who go there or live nearby. I heard from Isabelle.
was okay, B'H''. I decided to go to
the Kotel. As I was taking my
purse, the phone rang. It was
Batya's school. Her teacher told
them the news and she felt the need to talk to me. She was scared and I could hear her sobbing.
I told her I was okay and Daddy and Yehuda. I told her to be strong.
told her not to fear. I told her
that HaShem was with us. I told
her, I don't know what I told her. I
just was focusing on not crying, not to rush to pick her up now and hide under
our blankets. Just stay calm and
reassuring. Just convince her that
everything will be okay. Ha kol
yiye besseder. Everybody is saying
it right now, crying and sobbing. It
will be okay, but when?
kept repeating to her to be strong. When
I told her the word 'Chazak", "strong" in Hebrew, she automatically continued with the
following words we said when we complete the reading of one Book of the Torah.
" Chazak, Chazak, Venischazeik!" "Be strong, be strong, and may we be strengthened!"
She then laughed and thanked me, she felt better. I was glad I stayed home.
decided to stay at home in case I needed to pick her up earlier. I thought of Yehuda, hoping they wouldn't tell the little ones about the
news at school. I thought about Michael, the young guard in front of Yehuda's
school and I begged him in my mind to keep his eyes open.
needed to do something meaningful. I
emptied half of our closets and brought clothes to a wonderful Rabbi in our
neighborhood who takes care of children in need. It helped a little bit.
somewhere, in my mind I couldn't help to think about another little girl, who
felt the urge to talk to her mother to feel reassured and who would never have a
chance to hear her voice again, ever.